Its funny to read an entry from so long ago and how much i've changed. I haven't wroten on this thing in such a long time and just reading what i wrote last year has� brought many memories back. My life's somewhat diffrent now. Im not the same person I was a year ago. So much has been going on in my life sometimes its hard to keep up. My lifes like a rollercoaster at times, i have my ups and downs and theres moments when things go by so fast i cant even react to it. I was reading about two or three entries bellow and it made me smile. having my first boyfriend and seeing how i reacted to it was so childish of me lol. I was still small and I am still but my minds maturing. I feel like im growing up day by day. Its a scary thing actually. I just graduated from middle school on the 17th and sitting in the middle of a whole of student graduats made me realize so much. Im going to miss middle school and all the drama. The drama not actually but its sad saying goodbye to something. Its one of the hardest things to do. Like my friend tiffany said, "Theres a line in front of me and I know when I pass it i wont be able to walk back. It's like people are pressuring me to step in front of the line they are pushing me." Ive met so many new people and in some ways every person changes my life. I'm learning from my mistakes day by day and I'm becoming a strong and independent woman. And years from now I will read this entry and say what i think at that time. My mind is developing diffrent thoughts and the way i think is changing. Im changing and i know i will be a diffrent person years from now. I cant wait to see what life has for me next and im actually scared but then excited. Im happy with the person I am now and I wouldn't want to be any one else and i cant be because i was given one life and Im goin to make something out of it. Just gotta keep living my life with my head held up high and Im going to follow my dreams and become great. Thats A Promise.
Hi I had mu initial visit with "Dr Marty" on June 26.� He took bloods and my parents put me down to walk but all i would do is stand in his office to which he replied " We have a lot to do"�
We went over my history and my current complaints of arthritis that was affecting my BM possibly due to increasing lack of strength in my hind legs which is age related but also a side affect of the steroids I have been on for over 3 years now.
The plan is to get me walking comfortably and improve my vision and general quality of life, by one resolving the chronic inflammation evident from the mast cell history and the muscle atrophy and poor eye health attributed to poor liver function as a result of the steroid use.
The doctor prescribed
Bethathyne which is a natural/homepath steroid 1 tab per day
DGP (natural arthritis medicine) 1/2 tab 2 x per day
Muscle Joint drops 1/3 dropper 2 x per day (orally alone)
He gave me a b12 shot, a shot to support my eye health and a shot of tramadel
the next day I was about the same but the following day I was a bit perkier and have since been walking more comfortably.� where as before the visit I was unable to stand for more than 30 seconds without starting to collapse and hold my arms out at weird angles.
I was also un able to stand to eat.
I was doing fine except for loose stool which ended up being too much fish oil in my diet (my mom) was giving me only salmon so that caused me to have a little tummy upset.
She is now giving me salmon every other day for just 1 meal so i am feeling better gastrically.
what is the main thing that i always lack when trying to be on a diet? willpower. and why do i not have this? because i have no motovation. well i have now set myself the challenge for getting to 9 stone 7lbs before a can buy�a hair dye lightener, which i really want. this may seem like a really small thing but i am trying to be strict with myself and thought that now i am forbidding myself something that i want, it may just work.
i have been looking on the internet and found a site called everydiet or something like that, and am going to try the 3 day diet. i am embarresed to tell my parents and dont think that they would exactly agree so i can easily do the breakfast and lunch part of the diet as i am the only one at home in the week, but the dinner part may have to change slightly so it may take me longer to lose the weight but if it works then...
yee haa!!!!!
completely shocked that Michael Jackson has passed away. The world has lost the greatest singer.He is uncomparable, a true legend..R.I.P MJ
I�Know i posted an entry already but Im bored and i just need to write down all my feelings. Ok so today is some dude i met through myspace's graduation. I dont wanna say his name so lets call him M. Ok so he invited me but i couldnt go which sucks :P. And honestly idk theres just something about him that drives me crazy. Like i havent met him and i feel like im falling for a complete stranger. Hes Just the type of person i would love to hang out with or even better have as a boyfriend. Ive been single for such a long time it sucks not to have any body.!! You know i talk to alot of guys in my life and i text alot of guys but nothing compares to that one text from M. Just one little text messege from him makes my whole day.! Call me crazy but i really like this guy alot. Hes not the best looking but dude im falling for the person he is! Hes just perfect. Hes The type of guy i see myself dating and gosh.! he drives me crazy..! idk if he has a girlfriend but i honestly want him to myself! mine mine mine! I love those late phone calls and those text messeges that he says the sweetest things.! I just love the I.M's we used to have and i miss it all. I wish everything could honestly go back to the way it used to be with hhim. You know before that little fight we had.... Ughhh.... Boys......
Well besides boys my life's pretty good right now. Im entering high school in about 3 months. currently in summer vacation and Im pretty nervous. They say high school are the hardest years.! And I wonder if im going to change at all?? Today i went out with Reyna. We went to chinese food and then icecream n then we went to the park. We had those eternal girly conversations. You know we talked about boys and our life.! I love having a friend who i can relate to so much.!
Ok so theres this friend i have. Ive known her since the longest. Childhood friend like since babies. so many memories with her and seriously sooo many memories. And well yeah is she really being a friend when shes just using me when her other best friend isnt hanging out with her? Like she calls me to go out when she isnt hanging out with her other best friend. I hate it so much cuz she doesnt even pay attention to me when she hangs out with her. Like seriously! i hate it when she does that! Like if you want to hang out with me hang out with me.! Not just cuz ur other friend isnt here! And Idk I just feel like we are slowly growing apart! When we do hang out she acts like nothing and idk im just tired of it.! idk..??
I was reading other peoples public entries and Now i know im not the only one going through alot! Everyone is always going through tough times and so much drama! like Theres always those days when your like my life is so perfect!! Then theres those days when you dont even know why you exsist and you just wanna go hide under a rock!
Hey Patrick from spongebob needs a roomate right.! And i guess life is all about that. having ur ups and downs u know! Its all really hard.!!! Sometimes too much to bare!!
My mind is filled with so many emotions at times! And it irritates me! I just want to be happy and not worry about anything! Sometimes i think im shy because im afraid of what people are going to think of the real me. Im afraid to open up to others cuz at one point they might leave! ive lost so many people in my life they all end up walking away!! Im just scared of rejection..
And yeah.. Well I heard this saying, "If you want to be happy, Be" And I want to be happy. Who doesnt want to be happy right.!?? I love this site because i can express everything i feel! I keep a diary but i get really lazy to write everything i feel and i find typing easier. So I have to go now Cuz Idk lol..! I feel like im done here. I'll write on it tomorrow! i wont abandon you anymore.! Well hopefully lol.
I just need some excitment in my life for once.!
-Yours Karyna.
It� t'was a long time ago,
When I last watched it snow..
But as I look around tonight
Everything�appears so very bright.
�
I've long since been traped behind these castle walls,
Praying that somone will here my beckoning calls...
Just waiting for someone to come around,
And pick me up off the ground.
Please, someone set me free!
Can't you hear my frantic plea?
I�just want to see the sky,
And wish this dreadful place good-bye
Because I've been locked�away for all this time,
With you on my mind...
Michael Jackson died today. He was fifty years old. Its hard to know how to feel. When someone dies that you have never met, it only seems like�a dream, or like a fictional character from a film. I feel empty and without closure. There is something so childish and innocent about the man that I have grown to love and admire. People joke about his eccentricities and other accusations but I really dont want to judge. Even if I have conjured up a false notion of who he is (which I likely have) I'm somehow okay with that. He has impacted my life and the lives of so many, not only with his music but with who he was. The romantic in me feels a connection to him and his Neverland ranch. The�concept of eternal youth, eternal childhood, eternal innocence, is a beautiful one. His childhood was not typical and so his 'strangeness' stems from yearning to be back there. Dont we all sometimes, some of us often, want to return to childhood. Not necessarily to do it all over again but to be apart of that innocent, naive, curious, fantastic, fresh world. I have been mesmerized by this idea, and Michael Jacksons efforts to recapture it. I am grateful for his legacy and the connection I have always felt with him.
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